You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize