We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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