that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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