oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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