The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
