This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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