if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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