I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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