I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
people are starting to question the shark bite story
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
