I wish I could punch you in the face.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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