the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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