hell yes lets make some ravioli
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
