When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
