Do you still have your period?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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