I'm pants shitting drunk right now
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
