Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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