shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
