Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
