I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
