Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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