he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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