Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
