He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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