Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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