ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
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