i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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