I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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