So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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