Grow some girl-balls and come out already
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
