You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
