after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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