you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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