Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
