Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
