PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
