Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
