They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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