Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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