Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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