I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
