oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
