I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
