After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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