i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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