I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
