meet me or not, i'm out of control
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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