You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
50% drunk capacity currently
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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