so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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