I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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