Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
