he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
