i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
