Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
you inspire me to be a worse person
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
