So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
