After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
His hands were made for my vagina.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
