TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
