We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
