you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
